Category Archives: Love

Husbands, Love Your Wives

Since it is Valentine’s Day week, we should take a second and review some instructions from Paul on how husbands are to love your wives.

Please add to this discussion in the comments and help your brothers out.


There is no “if your wife” qualification in these statements from Paul (quoted below).

Husbands, we are called to love our wives the same way Christ loved the church. That’s a big deal. Christ gave His life for the church. He didn’t just die on the cross for the church, He gave His life to and for the church.

What does that mean? It means that in life Christ nurtured the church through the Word and deeds with grace, truth and love. Even when He was rejected by His own (John 1).

If your wife doesn’t do her part, that is no reason not to do your part.

Men,

  • Love your wife even when you don’t feel loved
  • Love your wife when you are stressed at work
  • Love your wife when neither of you have time to clean the house
  • Love your wife when you get home from work and still need to mow the grass
  • Love your wife when Ramen noodles or Totino’s pizza is what’s for dinner
  • Love your wife when the finances are not in order

Love does not mean you always give in to her every request. It just means that you are kind and understanding and explain your reasoning when you sometimes don’t agree. And you do apologize or change your mind when she points out a flaw or an error in your reasoning. Even is she doesn’t reciprocate, you lead by example.

Your wife wants your attention when she speaks. Practice active communication techniques. Just as you do at work, show respect in your communications. I am not perfect on this either, so don’t think I’m pretending like I’ve achieved perfection on this. I fail at it.

Here is the main point, you lead by example. Be an example to your wife, to your sons and to your daughters. Show them what it means to be a husband living on Biblical principles.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself; for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of His body.
Ephesians 5:25‭, ‬28‭-‬30 NASB
https://bible.com/bible/100/eph.5.25-30.NASB

If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing. Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
1 Corinthians 13:1‭-‬7 NASB
https://bible.com/bible/100/1co.13.1-7.NASB

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Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires, the Respect He Desperately Needs

Strengthening Your Marriage Bond

Valentine’s day is a highly commercialized day filled with overly compelled expressions of love. Isn’t it a wonderful feeling to receive those highly suggested and semi-heartfelt gifts from your spouse or significant other. I’m joking, but sometimes if feels true.

One thing that is important about Valentine’s Day is that it reminds us to show love. Yet, one act on one day of the year is not sufficient.

Many men have a difficult time showing the love that they feel in their heart.

Let me admit that many times I don’t hit the mark for showing love the way my wife and kids need to see it. Although, I do try purposefully to do so. I love my wife and kids and nothing will change that. But, if they don’t know I love them it can strain our relationship and cause feelings of insecurity in them, even if it is only sub-consciously.

Men, we have to show love consistently. And we must do it in a way that can feel really uncomfortable for us sometimes. You know what I mean, I’m talking about mooshy-gooshy affection stuff that we don’t always feel like doing.

Here are some examples of how to show love and it doesn’t cost any money to do it:

  • Hug your kids and say “I love you”
  • Hug your wife and say “I love you”, long hugs that mean something
  • Hug your wife in front of your kids until the kids make gagging noises
  • Actively listen to your wife and kids (That means looking at them and engaging in the conversation)
  • Occasionally watch that movie with your wife that you really don’t want to watch
  • Hold hands with your wife in public, she is your bride
  • things like the above list that are not always comfortable for you

Here are some examples that are not necessarily showing love, these are things that you just need to help do sometimes:

  • Wash the dishes
  • Wash the kid’s clothes
  • Hang up the kid’s clothes
  • Clean some part of the house
  • things like the above that are not related to showing affection

Over my 16 years of marriage I’ve had to learn this, and I am still learning. One of the books that I read to help me better understand my gaps in showing love and how to understand what my wife needs is Love & Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerich. I would encourage all of my readers husband or wife to read this book. It will help you better understand your spouse’s emotional needs.

February is a great time to start a new marriage study with your wife, this is one way to take the lead in spiritual growth in your marriage and be actively engaged in relational growth with you wife.

Below is my affiliate link to the book. There are also workbooks and digital versions. I hope you take the time to read this book with your spouse even if you have been married for a few years. I went through this book after my wife and I had been married for four years.

Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires, the Respect He Desperately Needs

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Dear Masculinity #Gillette #Harrys

Folks, your razor didn’t teach you how to be a man. And your razor company won’t teach how to be a better man or father.

No, I’m not jumping on any boycott bandwagon. I happen to believe that big companies do sometimes need to weigh in on issues. But it needs to be done in a way that does not blame only one population group for causing the issue. And it should be universally understood as an issue. Not just something that a few people think is an issue.

It is true that there does exist a population of overly aggressive men. That is true. And there is a pervasive poison in our society that pushes men toward unacceptable behavior of many forms.

Yet, overly aggressive people come in both masculine and feminine forms. That’s truth friends.

If every man in the world became a nervous pile of clean shaven flesh meat, there would still be a sizeable population of people who are overly aggressive.

You don’t have to go far into your Google search to find videos of fist fighting females.

The answer is to allow the Holy Spirit to guide you in your actions and thoughts. And any thoughts or actions contrary to the fruits of the spirit should be avoided.

Do man things. Act in manly ways. Don’t be a pushover, and if you are attacked be prepared to defend yourself. Just always make sure you are not the aggressor whether you are a man or a woman. Treat all people with respect and love your neighbor as yourself. Help protect those who are unable to protect themself. Give generously and without grumbling. Provide for your family physically, emotionally and spiritually.

And remember to allow your emotions to have a healthy outlet. Find a good friend to vent to and allow them to vent as well. Allow your gym time to be an outlet for reducing stress and frustrations.

Pray about fleshly temptations and find ways to keep yourself busy so you don’t focus on those desires. Tame your flesh. Go for a run, go lift weights, get on a bike, do something to focus your body on something other than the temptations that harm us and others.

Take care of yourself through meditating on God’s Word, doing Bible studies, reading books to help you understand your strengths and weaknesses, and then learn how to capitalize on those.

Doing this will help all of us to keep ourselves in alignment with who God wants us to be emotionally, physically, and spiritually.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit. Let us not become boastful, challenging one another, envying one another.
Galatians 5:22‭-‬26 NASB
https://bible.com/bible/100/gal.5.22-26.NASB

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God Still Remembers You

God still remembers you.

When you don’t feel Him, He may be closer than He has ever been. (adapted Billy Graham quote)

Ephraim’s descendants were defiant, idolatrous and many other sinful things. God proclaimed their sinfulness many times. But God still remembered them then and still does today.

He remembers us all no matter how much we push Him away with our sinful nature.

Call on Him and trust in His son Jesus and receive His mercy. That’s the first step you have to take. It is not a step in the dark. Our faith is not blind or mindless. It is reasonable and evidential.

Trust in Him and you will be forgiven. Then repent, ask others to forgive you as needed and forgive yourself. That’s step two.

Believe in the power of God and His process of restoration, discipline and sanctification. And know that He will not forget you.

Lift up your head weary sons and daughters of God. For Jesus will soon come and make all things new. Lean not on your own understanding but be renewed in mind and spirit and know that He is God.

“Is Ephraim My dear son? Is he a delightful child? Indeed, as often as I have spoken against him, I certainly still remember him; Therefore My heart yearns for him; I will surely have mercy on him,” declares the Lord .
Jeremiah 31:20 NASB

The Legacy Initiative

What meanigful things do you plan to leave for your children when you die?

Money and store bought things can be helpful but not as meaningful as a hand made item, a video with your voice or a hand written note from you to them.

Too many people die and leave nothing but a few pictures and random vacation videos to their children and grandchildren. Those videos are precious because it gives the viewer a glimpse of who you were. It can spark a memory or emotional response.

But does that picture or video pass down any wisdom or information about the real you? Your beliefs, dreams and hopes are the essence of who you are.

I encourage each of you to start a journal for the specific reason of passing it down to your children and descendants. Create one for each child with unique insights and encouragement.

Write it by hand not electronically. It’s a legacy item and should take time.

I also encourage you to write in your favorite Bible chapters and stories with your commentary. Give examples of struggles you overcame with God’s help. Provide reasons for the hope you have in Christ Jesus. And also share your failures and God’s grace.

I have a three page letter I carry in my coat chest pocket that my grandmother wrote to me before she died. And I have another letter of stories she wrote to me about my grandfather’s childhood. They are special because she wrote them by hand in a time when hand written notes are far too infrequent.

If you don’t know where to start, just start by writing down the book of Mark. Its the shortest Gospel and will help you learn to write in cursive again.

Journals at ChristianBook.com