Having a great time learning from Ted Cunningham at the marriage conference at FBC Rogers.
Valentine’s day is a highly commercialized day filled with overly compelled expressions of love. Isn’t it a wonderful feeling to receive those highly suggested and semi-heartfelt gifts from your spouse or significant other. I’m joking, but sometimes if feels true.
One thing that is important about Valentine’s Day is that it reminds us to show love. Yet, one act on one day of the year is not sufficient.
Many men have a difficult time showing the love that they feel in their heart.
Let me admit that many times I don’t hit the mark for showing love the way my wife and kids need to see it. Although, I do try purposefully to do so. I love my wife and kids and nothing will change that. But, if they don’t know I love them it can strain our relationship and cause feelings of insecurity in them, even if it is only sub-consciously.
Men, we have to show love consistently. And we must do it in a way that can feel really uncomfortable for us sometimes. You know what I mean, I’m talking about mooshy-gooshy affection stuff that we don’t always feel like doing.
Here are some examples of how to show love and it doesn’t cost any money to do it:
- Hug your kids and say “I love you”
- Hug your wife and say “I love you”, long hugs that mean something
- Hug your wife in front of your kids until the kids make gagging noises
- Actively listen to your wife and kids (That means looking at them and engaging in the conversation)
- Occasionally watch that movie with your wife that you really don’t want to watch
- Hold hands with your wife in public, she is your bride
- things like the above list that are not always comfortable for you
Here are some examples that are not necessarily showing love, these are things that you just need to help do sometimes:
- Wash the dishes
- Wash the kid’s clothes
- Hang up the kid’s clothes
- Clean some part of the house
- things like the above that are not related to showing affection
Over my 16 years of marriage I’ve had to learn this, and I am still learning. One of the books that I read to help me better understand my gaps in showing love and how to understand what my wife needs is Love & Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerich. I would encourage all of my readers husband or wife to read this book. It will help you better understand your spouse’s emotional needs.
February is a great time to start a new marriage study with your wife, this is one way to take the lead in spiritual growth in your marriage and be actively engaged in relational growth with you wife.
Below is my affiliate link to the book. There are also workbooks and digital versions. I hope you take the time to read this book with your spouse even if you have been married for a few years. I went through this book after my wife and I had been married for four years.