“In the absence of leadership, be the leader.”
I heard the Q of the exercise scream this at me somewhere around 1:00 in the morning while struggling through a GrowRuck event with a group of high-impact men in 2022.
It was my turn to lead the group through a stretch of the ruck.
We had just come through a long, difficult grind carrying what I can only describe as a contraption of weighted hate. The cadre had built it using a fireman’s ladder and multiple rolls of fire hose. It must have weighed close to 600 pounds.
And that wasn’t all we were carrying.
We also had two 100-pound sandbags, an 80-pound sandbag, and a log weighing more than 100 pounds.
By the time we reached the halfway point, this team of 17 tired, soaked men had already covered more than five miles.
We still had at least seven miles to go.
Thankfully, we were allowed to leave the ladder of hate behind.
The sandbags and log were coming with us.
And so were the 30-pound rucks on our backs.
Leading When Everyone Is Tired
Throughout the event, the cadre would rotate two men into leadership for roughly 30 minutes at a time.
Then it was my turn.
We had just gotten a short break because of a lightning delay, and I was more than happy to take it.
But eventually we had to move again.
Trying to push yourself forward is one thing.
Trying to lead a team of tired, wet, physically depleted, and mentally spent men toward the next objective is something entirely different.
There wasn’t room for a complicated leadership strategy.
People needed to know what we were doing.
They needed to know where we were going.
They needed to know what mattered next.
In times of high stress, especially when physical and mental fatigue are setting in, one of the most valuable things a leader can provide is clarity.
Clarity of task.
Clarity of purpose.
Clarity about the next step.
That night reinforced something for me that applies far beyond a ruck event.
More often than not, being the leader simply means bringing clarity and using influence in a time of shared struggle.
Leadership Usually Starts Before the Title
I think this is one of the biggest hurdles for high performers who get stuck in their growth.
They focus too much on the title.
They wait for the promotion.
They wait for more authority.
They wait until someone officially tells them they are responsible for leading at the next level.
But leadership usually starts before the title does.
The organization may not have changed your title yet.
That doesn’t mean you can’t bring clarity.
It doesn’t mean you can’t help people move forward.
It doesn’t mean you can’t lead.
Trust Builds Influence
In my book Beyond Delivery, I wrote that trust and credibility are built through competence, contribution, and consistency.
People see that you know what you’re doing.
They see that you contribute where it matters.
And over time, they see that they can consistently count on you.
That builds trust.
And trust builds influence.
Influence is what allows you to help bring clarity when things are unclear.
It allows you to move conversations forward when decisions are stalled.
It allows you to provide direction when the path ahead is uncertain.
And you don’t need a new title to start doing any of those things.
Leadership Is Service Before It Is Status
There is a biblical principle underneath this as well.
Jesus consistently separated leadership from status.
In Mark 10:42–45, He taught His disciples that leadership in His Kingdom would not look like people using authority over others. Greatness would be demonstrated through service.
That changes how we think about leadership.
The question becomes less about:
“When will someone give me the opportunity to lead?”
And more about:
“Where can I serve, bring clarity, and help people move forward right now?”
Sometimes leadership is standing on a stage.
Sometimes it is making a major decision.
And sometimes it is 1:00 in the morning, soaking wet, exhausted, with a ruck on your back, trying to help a group of tired men take the next step.
The title isn’t what makes you the leader.
Leadership is what you do when leadership is needed.
So if you’re waiting on the title before you start acting like a leader, you may be waiting too long.
Lead where you are.
Let the title catch up later.